New Year Commeth

New Years is on the way. A new day, a new year, a new begginning? Quite the contrary. The same place and the same people dealing in and out with the same of old, just on a different day.
Day to day struggles
cast shadows on my enlightenment
and terms undisclosed imprison me.
give my thoughts and early rising thoughts
to He that washed away all that I was
and life beckons me to change.
what is new to you and to me
if all we have is a memory
of what was then.
is it me that crawls into the old
and picks up stale pieces of
broken life?
this is new, this is old,
close my eyes and my hands fold.

Christmas

And on this day, a Savior was born. We celebrated Christmas with giving and receiving and constantly reinforcing the reason we all are here and why we remember this season. Our kids had a fantastic Christmas an can only hope that you and yours did as well.
It was difficult, but it was time to put away differences and our dis likes and get on with our celebration. After all, it's not about us, it's about Him, who was sent for us.
Now,
as we swept our emotions and differences under the carpet, shall we leave them there, or start the New Year with some much needed house cleaning? Only time will tell.

Today

Today, is like any other day with the small exceptions that endure and decide to contemplate. Exasperated and shallow, it seems to me, I am for this quiet time. The season as well as the reason, is upon us, and a gloom settles in. My cheer has all but abandoned who I thought I was or wanted to be. I have lost faith in what little I imagined us to be and have fallen short in everything you wished for. Tis the season my love.
But the gratuitous nature of this time we gather will be unspoken for and unrecognized to them, for this time is their time of cheer. Smiles twinkling brightly and unspeakable glimmers of joy in their eyes. Yes, this is a time for their excitement, irrelevant of what crushes me inside.
I love you,
Merry Christmas

Dreary Morning

another dreary morning
fog rising
sprinkles falling
pale winter face demising
eyes failing
bones aching
body crawling
soul dying
each morning
another dreary morning
silently praying.

Where have my feet escaped me?
I need you to carry me, back to where we were,
I have protected you from all that we walk
and you leave me here under the sun?

And a walk with you
is a run from her
as i cling to myself
and let my mind go as
my heart stands still in the middle
of the this war inside
all the while falling
like the guilty tears I cried.
Lost in the moment
created in emptiness
in this solace unresolved
calling for you.
Distorted pains in life-like
transgressions of my own
swallowing pride in the dry mouth
spirited self-centered I've become.
Ignorant infatuations imitating
all that feeds the illness
of this selfishness
as i walk up this mountain to find
the rest of my Jesus and the Savior
of my mind.
Calling unto you and to hold you
is against the will of my mind
and not of my heart
and this is where I beckon you to love me
on this journey by God I'll start.
9/5/07
wj

Pearls

Tears wrapped in mild-mannered
honeycomb whispers of pale blue
lies that tangled endlessly from the
ten year prison term I've served.
Crumbling morsels of denial dance the floor
where rusty colored blood scarred knees
traveled in search of redemption.
Laughing stalks of red cotton colored lipstick
paint a pretty picture on the
fragments left of a window pane
as she looks into my life.
Pearls of anger and diamonds of jealousy
sparkle silent sorrows into an empty
glow under morbid midnight moon
as passion filled hollow walls
echo empty eagerness at each of us.
Blistering nights of subconsciously
walking away from disguises in defeat,
the battles continue to portray
a life of love, a life so neat.
and I, like a bastard butcher
slewing away on late night meat,
have stained my white's
and lost balance upon my feet.

5/17/07

wj

Welcome

Hello all. This is my blog and my place to create and share what I am, have, and may be. I have no idea where this may go and why exactly i feel the need to do so, yet here I am. Enjoy and comment as you'd like.